Mr. Midshipman Easy Read online

  CHAPTER EIGHT.

  IN WHICH MR. EASY HAS HIS FIRST LESSON AS TO ZEAL IN HIS MAJESTY'SSERVICE.

  As there was no time to lose, our hero very soon bade adieu to hispaternal roof, as the phrase is, and found his way down to Portsmouth.As Jack had plenty of money, and was very much pleased at findinghimself his own master, he was in no hurry to join his ship, and five orsix companions not very creditable, whom either Jack had picked up, orhad picked up Jack, and who lived upon him, strongly advised him to putit off until the very last moment. As this advice happened to coincidewith Jack's opinion, our hero was three weeks at Portsmouth before anyone knew of his arrival, but at last Captain Wilson received a letterfrom Mr Easy, by which he found that Jack had left home at the periodwe have mentioned, and he desired the first-lieutenant to makeinquiries, as he was afraid that some accident might have happened tohim. As Mr Sawbridge, the first-lieutenant, happened to be going onshore on the same evening for the last time previous to the ship'ssailing, he looked into the Blue Posts, George, and Fountain Inns, toinquire if there was such a person arrived as Mr Easy. "Oh, yes,"replied the waiter at the Fountain--"Mr Easy has been here these threeweeks."

  "The devil he has," roared Mr Sawbridge, with all the indignation of afirst-lieutenant defrauded three weeks of a midshipman; "where is he; inthe coffee-room?"

  "Oh dear no, sir," replied the waiter, "Mr Easy has the frontapartments on the first floor."

  "Well, then, show me up to the first floor."

  "May I request the pleasure of your name, sir?" said the waiter.

  "First-lieutenants don't send up their names to midshipmen," replied MrSawbridge; "he shall soon know who I am."

  At this reply the waiter walked upstairs, followed by Mr Sawbridge, andthrew open the door.

  "A gentleman wishes to see you, sir," said the waiter.

  "Desire him to walk in," said Jack: "and, waiter, mind that the punch isa little better than it was yesterday; I have asked two more gentlemento dine here."

  In the meantime Mr Sawbridge, who was not in his uniform, had entered,and perceived Jack alone, with the dinner-table laid out in the beststyle for eight, a considerable show of plate for even the Fountain Inn,and everything, as well as the apartment itself, according to MrSawbridge's opinion, much more fit for a commander-in-chief than amidshipman of a sloop of war.

  Now Mr Sawbridge was a good officer, one who had really worked his wayup to the present rank, that is to say, that he had servedseven-and-twenty years, and had nothing but his pay. He was a littlesoured in the service, and certainly had an aversion to the young men offamily who were now fast crowding into it--and with some grounds, as heperceived his own chance of promotion decrease in the same ratio as thenumbers increased. He considered that in proportion as midshipmenassumed a cleaner and more gentlemanly appearance, so did they becomemore useless, and it may therefore be easily imagined that his bile wasraised by this parade and display in a lad, who was very shortly to be,and ought three weeks before to have been, shrinking from his frown.Nevertheless, Sawbridge was a good-hearted man, although a littleenvious of luxury, which he could not pretend to indulge in himself.

  "May I beg to ask," said Jack, who was always remarkably polite andgentlemanly in his address, "in what manner I may be of service to you?"

  "Yes, sir, you may--by joining your ship immediately. And may I beg toask in return, sir, what is the reason you have stayed on shore threeweeks without joining her?"

  Hereupon Jack, who did not much admire the peremptory tone of MrSawbridge, and who during the answer had taken a seat, crossed his legsand played with the gold chain to which his watch was secured, after apause very coolly replied:

  "And pray, who are you?"

  "Who am I, sir?" replied Sawbridge, jumping out of his chair--"my nameis Sawbridge, sir, and I am the first-lieutenant of the _Harpy_. Now,sir, you have your answer."

  Mr Sawbridge, who imagined that the name of the first-lieutenant wouldstrike terror to a culprit midshipman, threw himself back in the chair,and assumed an air of importance.

  "Really, sir," replied Jack, "what may be your exact situation on board,my ignorance of the service will not allow me to guess, but if I mayjudge from your behaviour, you have no small opinion of yourself."

  "Look ye, young man, you may not know what a first-lieutenant is, and Itake it for granted that you do not, by your behaviour; but depend uponit, I'll let you know very soon. In the meantime, sir, I insist uponit, that you go immediately on board."

  "I'm sorry that I cannot comply with your very moderate request,"replied Jack coolly. "I shall go on board when it suits my convenience,and I beg that you will give yourself no further trouble on my account."

  Jack then rang the bell; the waiter, who had been listening outside,immediately entered, and before Mr Sawbridge, who was dumb withastonishment at Jack's impertinence, could have time to reply:

  "Waiter," said Jack, "show this gentleman downstairs."

  "By the god of war!" exclaimed the first-lieutenant, "but I'll soon showyou down to the boat, my young bantam; and when once I get you safe onboard, I'll make you know the difference between a midshipman and afirst-lieutenant."

  "I can only admit of _equality_, sir," replied Jack; "we are all bornequal--I trust you'll allow that."

  "Equality--damn it, I suppose you'll take the command of the ship.However, sir, your ignorance will be a little enlightened by-and-by. Ishall now go and report your conduct to Captain Wilson; and I tell youplainly, that if you are not on board this evening, to-morrow morning,at daylight, I shall send a sergeant, and a file of marines, to fetchyou."

  "You may depend upon it, sir," replied Jack, "that I also shall not failto mention to Captain Wilson that I consider you a very quarrelsome,impertinent fellow, and recommend him not to allow you to remain onboard. It will be quite uncomfortable to be in the same ship with suchan ungentlemanly bear."

  "He must be mad--quite mad," exclaimed Sawbridge, whose astonishmenteven mastered his indignation. "Mad as a March hare--by God."

  "No, sir," replied Jack, "I am not mad, but I am a philosopher."

  "A _what_?" exclaimed Sawbridge, "damme, what next?--well, my joker, allthe better for you; I shall put your philosophy to the proof."

  "It is for that very reason, sir," replied Jack, "that I have decidedupon going to sea: and if you do remain on board, I hope to argue thepoint with you, and make you a convert to the truth of equality and therights of man."

  "By the Lord that made us both, I'll soon make you a convert to thethirty-six articles of war--that is, if you remain on board; but I shallnow go to the captain, and report your conduct, sir, and leave you toyour dinner with what appetite you may."

  "Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you; but you need not be afraid of myappetite; I am only sorry, as you happen to belong to the same ship,that I cannot, in justice to the gentlemanly young men whom I expect,ask you to join them. I wish you a very good morning, sir."

  "Twenty years have I been in the service," roared Sawbridge, "and,damme,--but he's mad--downright, stark, staring mad." And thefirst-lieutenant bounced out of the room.

  Jack was a little astonished himself. Had Mr Sawbridge made hisappearance in uniform it might have been different, but that aplain-looking man, with black whiskers, shaggy hair, and old bluefrock-coat and yellow casimere waistcoat, should venture to address himin such a manner, was quite incomprehensible;--he calls me mad, thoughtJack, I shall tell Captain Wilson what is my opinion about hislieutenant. Shortly afterwards, the company arrived, and Jack soonforgot all about it.

  In the meantime, Sawbridge called at the captain's lodgings, and foundhim at home: he made a very faithful report of all that had happened,and concluded his requests by demanding, in great wrath, either aninstant dismissal or a court-martial on our hero, Jack.

  "Stop, Sawbridge," replied Captain Wilson, "take a chair. As Mr Easysays, we must argue the point, and then I will leave it to your betterfeelings. As for the court-martial, it
will not hold good, for MrEasy, in the first place, has not yet joined the ship, and in the nextplace, could not be supposed to know that you were the first-lieutenant,or even an officer, for you went to him out of uniform."

  "Very true, sir," replied Sawbridge, "I had forgotten that."

  "Then, as for his dismissal, or rather, not allowing him to join, MrEasy has been brought up in the country, and has never seen anythingaquatic larger than a fish-pond, perhaps, in his life; and as for theservice, or the nature of it, I believe he is as ignorant of it as achild not a year old--I doubt whether he knows the rank of a lieutenant;certainly, he can have no idea of the power of a first-lieutenant, byhis treatment of you."

  "I should think not," replied Sawbridge dryly.

  "I do not think, therefore, that conduct which must have proceeded fromsheer ignorance, should be so severely punished--I appeal to you,Sawbridge."

  "Well, sir, perhaps you are right--but still he told me he was aphilosopher, and talked about equality and rights of man. Told me thathe could only admit of equality between us, and begged to argue thepoint. Now, sir, if a midshipman is to argue the point every time thatan order is given, the service will come to a pretty pass."

  "That is all very true, Sawbridge; and now you remind me of what neveroccurred to me at the time that I promised to take Mr Easy in the ship.I now recollect that his father, who is a distant relation of mine, hassome very wild notions in his head, just like what have been repeated byhis son on your interview with him. I have occasionally dined there,and Mr Easy has always been upholding the principles of naturalequality and of the rights of man, much to the amusement of his guests,and I confess, at the time, of mine also. I recollect telling him thatI trusted he would never be able to disseminate his opinions in theservice to which I belonged, as we should have an end of all discipline.I little thought, at the time, that his only son, who has no moreoccasion to go to sea than the Archbishop of Canterbury, for his fatherhas a very handsome property--I believe seven or eight thousand a year--would ever have sailed with me, and have brought these opinions with himinto any ship that I commanded. It is a pity, a great pity--"

  "He never could have brought his pigs to a worse market," observedSawbridge.

  "I agree with you, and, as a father myself, I cannot but help feelinghow careful we should be how we inculcate anything like abstract andphilosophical idea to youth. Allowing them to be in themselves correct,still they are dangerous as sharp instruments are in the hands of achild; allowing them to be erroneous, they are seized upon with anavidity by young and ardent minds, and are not to be eradicated withoutthe greatest difficulty, and very often not until they have accomplishedtheir ruin."

  "Then you think, sir, that these ideas have taken deep root in thisyoung man, and we shall not easily rid him of them."

  "I do not say so; but still, recollect they have been instilled,perhaps, from the earliest period, by one from whom they must have beenreceived with all confidence--from a father to a son; and that son hasnever yet been sufficiently in the world to have proved their fallacy."

  "Well sir," replied Sawbridge, "if I may venture to offer an opinion onthe subject, and in so doing I assure you that I only shall from afeeling for the service--if, as you say, these opinions will not easilybe eradicated, as the young man is independent, would it not be bothbetter for himself, as well as for the service, that he is sent homeagain? As an officer he will never do any good for himself, and he maydo much harm to others. I submit this to you, Captain Wilson, with allrespect; but as your first-lieutenant, I feel very jealous at any chanceof the discipline of the ship being interfered with by the introductionof this young man, to whom it appears that a profession is no object."

  "My dear Sawbridge," replied Captain Wilson, after taking one or twoturns up and down the room, "we entered the service together, we weremessmates for many years, and you must be aware that it is not only longfriendship but an intimate knowledge of your unrewarded merit, which hasinduced me to request you to come with me as my first-lieutenant. Now,I will put a case to you, and you shall then decide the question--and,moreover, I will abide by your decision.

  "Suppose that you were a commander like myself, with a wife and sevenchildren, and that, struggling for many years to support them, you foundyourself, notwithstanding the utmost parsimony, gradually running intodebt. That, after many long applications, you had at last succeeded inobtaining employment by an appointment to a fine sloop, and there wasevery prospect, by prize-money and increased pay, of recovering yourselffrom your difficulties, if not realising a sufficient provision for yourfamily. Then suppose that all this prospect and all these hopes werelikely to be dashed to the ground by the fact of having no means offitting yourself out, no credit, no means of paying debts you havecontracted, for which you would have been arrested, or anythingsufficient to leave for the support of your family during your absence,your agent only consenting to advance one-half of what you require.Now, suppose, in this awkward dilemma, without any one in this worldupon whom you have any legitimate claim, as a last resource you were toapply to one with whom you have but a distant connection, and but anoccasional acquaintance--and that when you had made your request for theloan of two or three hundred pounds, fully anticipating a refusal (fromthe feeling that he who goes a-borrowing goes a-sorrowing)--I say,suppose, to your astonishment, that this generous person was to presentyou with a cheque on his banker for one thousand pounds, demanding nointerest, no legal security, and requests you only to pay it at yourconvenience--I ask you, Sawbridge, what would be your feelings towardssuch a man?"

  "I would die for him," replied Sawbridge, with emotion.

  "And suppose that, by the merest chance, or from a whim of the moment,the son of that man was to be placed under your protection?"

  "I would be a father to him," replied Sawbridge.

  "But we must proceed a little further: suppose that you were to find thelad was not all that you could wish--that he had imbibed erroneousdoctrines, which would probably, if not eradicated, be attended withconsequences fatal to his welfare and happiness, would you therefore, onthat account, withdraw your protection, and leave him to the mercy ofothers, who had no claims of gratitude to sway them in his favour?"

  "Most certainly not, sir," replied Sawbridge; "on the contrary, I wouldnever part with the son until, by precept or otherwise, I had set himright again, and thus had, as far as it was possible, paid the debt ofgratitude due to the generous father."

  "I hardly need say to you, Sawbridge, after what has passed, that thislad you have just come from, is the son, and that Mr Easy of ForestHill is the father."

  "Then, sir, I can only say, that not only to please you, but also fromrespect to a man who has shown such goodwill towards one of our cloth, Ishall most cheerfully forgive all that has passed between the lad andme, and all that may probably take place before we make him what heought to be."

  "Thank you, Sawbridge; I expected as much, and am not disappointed in myopinion of you."

  "And now, Captain Wilson, pray what is to be done?"

  "We must get him on board, but not with a file of marines--that will domore harm than good. I will send a note, requesting him to breakfastwith me to-morrow morning, and have a little conversation with him. Ido not wish to frighten him: he would not scruple to run back to ForestHill--now I wish to keep him if I possibly can."

  "You are right, sir; his father appears his greatest enemy. What a pitythat a man with so good a heart should be so weak in the head! Then,sir, I shall take no notice of this at present, but leave the wholeaffair in your hands."

  "Do, Sawbridge; you have obliged me very much by your kindness in thisbusiness."

  Mr Sawbridge then took his leave, and Captain Wilson despatched a noteto our hero, requesting the pleasure of his company to breakfast at nineo'clock the ensuing morning. The answer was in the affirmative, butverbal, for Jack had drunk too much champagne to trust his pen to paper.